A shadow slipped over my desk, eclipse-like, until I was entirely in its shade.
What did ye pick up today, mate?
I looked up and saw Butterbean, a massive-bellied Business Analyst that works on my floor.
I resisted answering with ‘your mum’ and instead replied with a charismatic,
Eh?
I leaned back in my chair trying not to look as if I was scrabbling out of the shadow cast by his huge beer belly.
Beers, man? Do you not usually go to the beer shop on a Friday?
I had a vague recollection of telling him of my weekly beer pilgrimage a few weeks ago when he had ensnared me in his freezing belly shadow.
Yeah, I did. Got a few good ones I think.
I waved a hand majestically at a bag on my desk.
Can ah have a wee peek?
I was about to tell him to beat it when I recalled the rumour that had led to him being called Butterbean. The resulting wave of sympathy led me to rigidly grin as if a cat were licking at my Chinese rabbit.
Aye, knock yourself out.
I tugged open the bag to reveal the beery goodness within.
Butterbean inserted a hand that Chewbacca would have been proud of into the bag and rummaged among it’s insides.
Oh very good, a chocolate porter? Sounds lovely. And this one, blackcurrant? That’s a bit too crazy for me. Hey, what’s this?
He pulled one of the beers out of the bag.
The world’s first blockchain beer??
Butterbean made a flubbery-bubbery farting noise with his mouth which sounded like the simultaneous sex noises of an overweight Liverpudlian couple.
What of it?
Defensively, I rescued the beer from his hands.
Butterbean rocked back on his heels, a mocking sneer on his face as if he had been offered charred lettuce with his artisan burger.
Blockchain is just for geeks to wank each other off for bitcoin.
He declared, shaking his head at my foolishness in buying such a thing.
Ahem, no. It’s not really.
Said I, the now proud defender of everything blockchain.
Butterbean looked at me curiously, tipping his head to the side.
Don’t tell me you believe in all that shite?
Now it was my turn to look incredulous.
It’s not shite, granted it’s not the silver bullet for everything but…
Pfft. It’s shite.
Butterbean interrupted, his jowls shifting restlessly like caged hens.
You better watch, or next thing you know, you will be on the Skype wanking off your wee internet pals for bitcoin. Haha!
He lumbered off, laughing out loud at blockchain geeks wanking each other for Bitcoin.
I put the can back in the bag.
So this is what Blockchain means to the normies?
Houston, we may have a problem.
Published at Sun, 15 Dec 2019 16:12:30 +0000
