Now, reading that title you might think that it’s obvious where you should and shouldn’t get high. Like probably try not to be stoned if you’re giving a eulogy at your aunt’s funeral, do get high if you’re in bed naked being cuddled by your significant other, don’t get high if you need to give an image-conscious bear a complicated haircut, do if you want to eat more cheese than you ever thought possible etc. However, my plan here is to give you a few places that might come as a surprise to you. Some yesses you maybe didn’t think of and some no’s that you potentially didn’t realise would be such a bad idea. So let’s have a little look at the very best and worst places to get high. If I’ve missed anything vital feel free to share your favourites and least favourites in the comments. That’s called encouraging engagement. I’m very good at my job. 

Spa Day

Ok this one may seem obvious but shut up I’m only human. If you haven’t toked up and then gone to a building where a stranger rubs amazing smelling stuff all over your semi-naked body then you haven’t lived. This is also fantastic for people who want to experience a spa but hate the idea of a stranger rubbing anything on my semi-naked body…I meant their semi-naked body. I’m absolutely fine with intimacy and physical contact because I’m very cool and normal. Seriously though, if you are anxious and are sick of it ruining experiences like this for you then genuinely having a little smoke beforehand, just a little one, can change a horrifying experience into an amazing one. The most amazing places in a spa to be high, see there are levels, are saunas/ steam rooms and that weird room where you just sort of lie on a chair with stuff on your eyes and listen to trancy chill music. Drink plenty of cucumber water, lie back, and just let your body experience being pampered. 

Government Buildings of Any Kind

Ok I get it again this might seem obvious but I can also see how someone might think it’s a good idea for anxiety or boredom before dealing with a passport line, waiting to get a driver’s licence, or any of the many other soul-crushing things we have to do to be people. If you do smoke before running these sorts of errands then sure maybe initially it’ll soften the constricting and exasperating waiting room. However, very quickly the overall decorating style, or total lack thereof, as well as the sterile smells and depressing textures will start messing you up. Let’s not even start to talk about the intense white lighting. Basically, government buildings are a sensory hellscape, don’t do it. 

Aquarium 

This one actually isn’t mine but it was such a great idea that I had to include it. I mean aquariums are pretty cool anyway but imagine being on a chill but uplifting sativa while in one of those amazing fish tunnels. Plus loads of them have places where you can touch stuff, so much more fun for your senses. You could make friends with a starfish, look at a turtle, forget a shark can’t get you through the glass, and panic briefly. Have a smoke, gather some buds, and all of you go and watch fish swim for a few hours while your poor overheated brain resets. Plus some aquariums like Sea Worlds have those weird cafes/canteens where they have nonsense trash food that is ideal for being stoned. Oh, and you could get a soft toy octopus to cuddle on the way home! See? Perfect place to get high. 

Party With Strangers

Let me explain this one, I couldn’t think of a better way to word the title. This is probably one for those of us who can’t handle their weed as well as others. Everyone has been to a party with one friend to keep them company and not know anyone else there. Inevitably your friend, who does know some people, will drift off and you’ll be left alone somewhere. Potentially that somewhere happens to be a place where someone is passing a joint around. If you aren’t super used to smoking or have wildly varied reactions to different strains I suggest avoiding. In my experience, as someone who has about as much cannabis tolerance as an amoeba, it can end badly. Sure when you roll your own super weak joints you’re fine socially, but you don’t know these people. It’s pretty likely they’ve rolled some kind of power joint that will knock your eyes off within minutes of your couple of politeness tokes. Then you have to deal with a bunch of strangers in a house you don’t know while super high, which is gross and terrible. 

Second Hand BookShop

So this one is pretty specific to me but I bet there are a lot of you that could spend hours in a really good second hand book shop. The kind where nothing is really labelled except by genre and you just have to dig through piles. Maybe there is a cat. For a really chilled afternoon go to one of these establishments during a non-busy period and just immerse yourself in the drifts of incredible-smelling paper. There’s nothing more exciting than flipping through book after book before suddenly finding a childhood memory, a hardback of one of your favourites, or even something you’ve been meaning to read for years. The best part about this is that you can leave with a bunch of books without spending too much money. I got like 5 or 6 today for £11. 

Ok, I’ve realised I’m going to have to give this baby a part two if I’m going to suggest something that suits as many people as possible. So I shall shuffle away and find plenty more great examples of the best and worst places to get high.

Written by Tasha Porritt

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